daneben:subkultur für Frauen

member of Orga-team and soup slut for daneben, subkultur für Frauen (2007-2009)

Documentary (film) on Slutmeadow/Schlampenau

(german below) In 2007 the first ”Ferien in Schlampenau”, which roughly translates to “Vacations in Slut Meadow”, took place in Germany, becoming meanwhile a yearly feminist summer camp for women who challenge the concept of monogamy as the sole accepted relationship model. “Also unnatural women need rest”, said the invitation, “and to spend time with other sluts, away from the heteronormativity, exchanging experiences, discussing utopias or developing a new relationship culture.” In this DIY, no-budget film, word is given to four participants in Schlampenau and they speak about polyamory, the camp itself, feminism, queer identities and their dreams for the future. The film shows a sense of fight against alienation in a society where being a woman, polyamorous, feminist, queer or transgender is often misunderstood or outright repressed. The camp is revealed as a place of togetherness, freedom, discussion and fun. Ladies from all genders and gentlemen, welcome to Schlampenau. More on the film at the film´s blog: here (http:://polygarchutopia.blogspot.com) ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2007 fand das erste "Ferien in Schlampenau, Sommercamp für unnatürliche Frauen" statt, dass inzwischen zu einer jährlichen Veranstaltung geworden ist. "Auch unnatürliche Frauen brauchen Erholung", stand in der Ankündigung, "einfach Zeit mit anderen Schlampen verbringen, fernab der Heteronormativität, um Erfahrungen auszutauschen, Utopien zu diskutieren oder gemeinsam eine neue Beziehungskultur zu entwickeln." Vier Teilnehmerinnen sprechen über Polyamorie, das Sommercamp, Feminismus, Queer Identitäten und ihre Träume für die Zukunft. Dieser do-it-yourself (and no budget) Dokumentarfilm zeigt einen Kampfgeist gegen die Entfremdung in einer Gesellschaft wo immer missverstanden oder unterdrückt wird, wenn man eine Frau, polyamorös, Feministin, queer oder transgender ist. Das Camp erscheint als ein Ort der Zusammengehörigkeit, der Freiheit, des Austausches und für Spass. Mehr darüber @ Blog zur Film: hier (http://polygarchutopia.blogspot.com).

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Don't rebuff your way to happiness, Manchester

Don't rebuff your way to happiness: a workshop on “Saying no”

29.5.2010, Manchester, at the SM Dykes Conference Lokki and Éskìw

Workshop Goals: to learn strategies to effectively communicate what you want (and understanding what you want), to learn strategies for expressing disagreement in a positive and constructive way, learning to say "no" with or without providing justifications.

Can we honestly say, about ourselves, that we say “no” on every occasion that we should? Hmmm, maybe not. Saying “no” is important, actually it’s vital, but saying “no” in the right situation can be very difficult. There are several mechanisms which make “saying no” quite difficult, like fear of rejection or retaliation, peer pressure, or even an entangled bundle of possible cultural reasons linked to expressing disagreement. We will look at issues such as how the dynamics can affect the negotiation process and the problem of being part of a small group and how being part of one can affect your ability to say no.

Practical exercise: a negotiation situation. Evaluation of the exercise (what went well and not so well, and why; strategies that work best). Presentation of some simple strategies for expressing disagreement and saying “no.”

Polyamory and Jealousy, Manchester

On green-eyed monsters, compersive teddies, and humans in-between (a workshop on jealousy in polyamourous constellations)

Lokki and Éskìw 29.May.10, Manchester, SM Dykes Conference

Whenever a polyamoury lifestyle is mentioned or considered, usually a lot of questions regarding jealousy pop up immediately.

But what is then this disruptive green-eyed monster? Do we all speak of the same thing when we mention jealousy? Do we know what it can put at stake? Are we susceptible to it? Do we have to deal with it? Do we know how to deal with it? And what about compersion?

In this workshop there will not be universal or magical answers to those questions, but we will all be challenged to use the opportunity to find our own personal and tailored answers, with the help of the group. For this, we will sit together, try to analyse a couple of aspects in a simple and pragmatic way, suggest some tools, share our thoughts, and brainstorm together to help everybody find hir personal answer to such questions.

No previous experience with polyamoury lifestyle is required.

Bondage 101, showing you safely the ropes. Berlin.

Bondage 101, showing you the ropes in a safe way 8.2.2010, Berlin, Be_Cunt party

This is meant as a very basic introduction to bondage for absolute beginers. A very significant part of it will be dedicated to considerations on material, your motivation for doing bondage, safety, negotiation, responsability. You will be encouraged to think and find out what suits you best, regarding the above mentioned topics. Only after you are scared to death after this frist phase, and correspondingly aware that some care must be taken when dealing with rope, we will look together, slowly and carefully, on the first approaches to *fun* with rope and what possibilities it offers. The techniques shown during the workshop will depend on the size of the group and its dynamic. References to more advanced bondage workhops, networking and bibliography, etc, will be provided.

Safer Sex: Take pleasure in your hands, Lisbon

(english below) Sexo Mais Seguro: O prazer está nas tuas mãos O Sexo mais Seguro é não só útil para prevenir várias doenças desagradáveis, mortais, limitantes ou incómodas, mas também para tornar o sexo uma experiência mais agradável e divertida. O Sexo mais Seguro é mais uma atitude crítica acerca da nossa postura e comportamento do que um conjunto de práticas. Neste workshops iremos reflectir em grupo sobre o conceito de redução de risco, falar de algumas técnicas mais comuns, e desmontar alguns preconceitos. Teremos activamente em conta que há mais géneros do que homem e mulher, e que há várias definições, muito pessoais ou não, do que sexo é. As discussões e reflexões em grupo permitirão a cada participante encontrar a solução mais adequada para si proprix. Workshop para mulheres e trans* de todos os géneros. Preço: 3 euros incluindo material. Terça feira, 22 de Dezembro, às 19.00 na UMAR. Rua de S. Lázaro 111.1o, Lisboa ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (English) SafeR Sex: Hold pleasure with both hands SafeR Sex is a very useful tool, not only to prevent unpleasant, deadly or scarring diseases, but can also make sex a more pleasant and quite fun experience. SafeR Sex is more about criticism being exerted on our behaviour and attitude rather than a set of practices. In this workshop we will sit and think together about what risk means, talk about some common practices, and demolish some prejudices. We will actively assume a non-binary world vision regarding gender, and that what sex means, and what sex is, is something very personal and can be quite manyfold. Group reflection and discussion will allow each participant finding the most adequate solution for hir. Workshop for women and trans* of all genders. Price: 3 euro, material included. .

Saying “No” when you really need it. Lisbon.

(English below)

Tampas: dá-las e recebe-las: Uma oficina sobre “dizer não” quando é preciso. 29.10.2010, Lisboa, UMAR, antidote e Éskìw Dizemos “não” sempre que queremos? Hmm, talvez não.. “Dizer não” é importante e vital, mas “dizer não” em todas as ocasiões necessárias é muitas vezes difícil. Há vários mecanismos que tornam o “dizer não” difícil, como por ex., o medo de não sermos aceites, pressão social, o medo de represálias, ou mesmo condicionalismos culturais de vários tipos. O “dizer não” é importante quer em situações do dia a dia, no trabalho, família, relações, quer em situações perigosas para a integridade pessoal. Neste workshop não vai haver receitas mágicas, mas vai-se tentar expor o problema em termos simples, discuti-lo convosco, e fazer alguns exercícios em grupo que permitam a cada uma reflectir e encontrar a solução mais adequada. A oficina é aberta a todxs, mas foi pensada para e com um contexto queer,(ou queer-friendly) e feminista. Quinta feira, 29 de Outubro, às 20.00 na UMAR. Rua de S. Lázaro 111.1o, Lisboa ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (English) "Saying no" when you really need it Can we honestly say, about ourselves, that we say “no” on every occasion that we should? Hmmm, maybe not. Saying “no” is important, actually it’s vital, but saying “no” in the right situation can be very difficult. There are several mechanisms which make “saying no” quite difficult, like fear of rejection or retaliation, peer pressure, or even an entangled bundle of possible cultural reasons linked to expressing disagreement. We will look at issues such as how the dynamics can affect the negotiation process and the problem of being part of a small group and how being part of one can affect your ability to say no. Practical exercise: a negotiation situation. Evaluation of the exercise (what went well and not so well, and why; strategies that work best). Presentation of some simple strategies for expressing disagreement and saying “no.” Final considerations: the importance of knowing what one wants in the communication negotiation process. Expressing disagreement as a space/ act of personal empowerment and self-esteem. .