polyamory and jealousy: workshop in braunschweig

event still TBC!!
14.6.2012, Workshop about polyamory and Jealousy in Braunschweig.

Workshop: polyamory and networks

Antifeefestival, Gotingen (15-16.6.2012)
with Lun Ario.
tbc.

Workshop and talks in Oldenburg: Consent

(under construction)

When: 21.4.2012, 11-13.30
Where: tbd Oldenburg
Language: Deutsch (with the possibility of English translation)

Do you want to talk about consent? (yes/no)
A WS on defining consent, saying yes, no, and defining your borders.

(Ann Antidote antidote@imensis.net)

Consent is present in many of our decisions - consciously or not. And its role in feminism and in the queer movement is quite central, due to several independent reasons, of which the explicit objective to create safe spaces and eventually build a safe community for all is not the least important. The way we deal with consent has repercusions in the community we live and ultimately shape. A society where personal and collective needs and borders are respected, is desirable, but...

...can we honestly say, about ourselves, that we say “no” on every occasion we need to? Hmmm, maybe not. Saying “no” is important, actually it’s vital, but saying “no” can be very difficult. There are several mechanisms which can make “saying no” quite difficult, like fear of rejection or retaliation, peer pressure, or even an entangled bundle of possible cultural reasons linked to expressing disagreement.

In this WS we will make an introduction and pragmatic term definition before, we, as a group working together, dive - in a hands-on approach - into what means to define borders, to say no, to say yes, what hinders us, what feelings do we associate with it. In this WS we will not aim at exhausting the theme consent, but rather raise awareness to what comes with it, from a personal and colective point of view. This WS is intended as a begining and a furtheninig of the consent discussion and not about giving finished answers about it.

We will have one or two practical exercises, we will analyse and summarise them together, and we will evaluate the role of knowing one´s borders in the communication negotiation process and the.expressing disagreement as a space/ act of personal empowerment and in last instance, of community shaping!

the topic is sensitive and is susceptible to trigger. There will be special communications rules and the discussion will be driven from a generalist point of view. Nevertheless, because of different personal sentitivities and possible triggers, I would kindly ask the participants to actively look after their borders

jealousy management (again) in Berlin

there we go again, this time at the Other Nature shop! 


Wann: Dienstag, April 17, 18-20 Uhr
Wo: Other Nature, Mehringdamm 79
Sprache: Deutsch (with the possibility of English translation)
Kosten: 5€ suggested donation (or pay what you can)

On Green-Eyed Monsters, Compersive Teddies, and Humans In-between: A workshop on jealousy in polyamourous constellations with Ann Antidote

Presentation and discussion on polyamory in Braunschweig

 Aktionen zum Weltfrauentag am 09.03.12 und 10.03.12

What: Workshop Polyamorie and Networks
When: Friday March 09, 18-20 Uhr
Where: SUB, Braunschweig
Language: Deutsch (with the possibility of English translation)
orga: Die Falken Socialistische Jugend Braunschweig 

A small Q&A on polyamory, UEEH, Marseille

On the 23.July.10, already in the closing end of the UEEH, in Marseille, a small and spontaneous screening of the documentary "Vacations in Slutmeadow" (“Ferien in Schlampenau”) took place. Around 20 people showed up, and the session ended up as Q&A on the topics of polyamory, the need for networking that is almost automatic to all poly lifestyles, which was the motivation behind the organization of such a poly summercamp, and a small discussion on practical issues and its implementation. more about the camp (in portuguese): http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2008/04/um-campo-de-frias-para-galdrias.html http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/06/summercamp-poly-feminista-ferias-em.html more about the film "Vacations in Slutmeadow": http://lube-nomads.blogspot.com/2010/05/documentary-film-on-slutmeadowschlampen.html

Polyamory and Jealousy, UEEH, Marseille

Poly and Jealousy 22.July.2010 Marseille, UEEH antidote and Éskìw Whenever a polyamoury lifestyle is mentioned or considered, usually a lot of questions regarding jealousy pop up immediately.

But what is then this disruptive green-eyed monster? Do we all speak of the same thing when we mention jealousy? Do we know what it can put at stake? Are we susceptible to it? Do we have to deal with it? Do we know how to deal with it? And what about compersion? In this workshop there will not be universal or magical answers to those questions, but we will all be challenged to use the opportunity to find our own personal and tailored answers, with the help of the group. For this, we will sit together, try to analyse a couple of aspects in a simple and pragmatic way, suggest some tools, share our thoughts, and brainstorm together to help everybody find hir personal answer to such questions. No previous experience with polyamoury lifestyle is required.

Polyamory and Jealousy, Manchester

On green-eyed monsters, compersive teddies, and humans in-between (a workshop on jealousy in polyamourous constellations)

Lokki and Éskìw 29.May.10, Manchester, SM Dykes Conference

Whenever a polyamoury lifestyle is mentioned or considered, usually a lot of questions regarding jealousy pop up immediately.

But what is then this disruptive green-eyed monster? Do we all speak of the same thing when we mention jealousy? Do we know what it can put at stake? Are we susceptible to it? Do we have to deal with it? Do we know how to deal with it? And what about compersion?

In this workshop there will not be universal or magical answers to those questions, but we will all be challenged to use the opportunity to find our own personal and tailored answers, with the help of the group. For this, we will sit together, try to analyse a couple of aspects in a simple and pragmatic way, suggest some tools, share our thoughts, and brainstorm together to help everybody find hir personal answer to such questions.

No previous experience with polyamoury lifestyle is required.

Polyamory, support-groups and activism, Munich

"Poly, Poly support-groups and poly-activism", by antidote and nuvens-no-céu-azul at "1st Munich's "Poly Begegnungtag", 08.02.09.

There are as many ideals and realities of poly as people. All of us have different wishes and dreams in respect to poly, all of us (try to) make them real in different ways. But independent of those differences, common to us all, are the experiences of poly-closet, pressure to decide, mono-normative pressure or attacks, isolation or discrimination. Those aggressions, together with the uniqueness of poly problems, lead people to naturally group in search of mutual comfort, identity or solutions to similar shaped problems. Some people might pro-actively organize themselves to influence the way poly is perceived by the society, and thus make it a less aggressive and dangerous place.

In this workshop we would like to address and discuss with you the role that this activism has, or has not, or should have, or should not have, as well as the motors that change, voluntarily or involuntarily, the acceptance or the perception of ideas along History, how those motors feed from activism or the other way around, etc..

Conversas sobre Poliamor, Lisboa, Crew Hassan

(english below) Conversas sobre Poliamor, a 05.06.08, na Crew Hassan antidote e Sérgio Vitorino Em 2006, o PolyPortugal, via antidote, co-organizou e co-fundou a I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. A associação entre poliamor e movimentos LGBT é bastante simples de entender, do ponto de vista da defesa da diversidade e dos modos de vida alternativos e responsáveis. Mas nem todas as associações LGBT foram da mesma opinião, e ventilaram-se argumentos que nem sempre reflectiam o que o poliamor defende, e pensou-se em fazer mais activamente uma sessão de divulgação, com particular dedicação a um publico de activistas LGBT, sobre poliamor. Surgiram assim as "Conversas sobre Poliamor", a 05.06.08, na Crew Hassan, co-organizadas pelo PolyPortugal e Panteras Rosa, representados respectivamente por Antidote e Sérgio Vitorino (resumo aqui). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (English) Talking about Polyamory, 05.06.08, Crew Hassan antidote e Sérgio Vitorino PolyPortugal, in 2006, via antidote, co-organized e co-founded the 1st Christopher Street Day Demonstration in Porto. The association of polyamory and LGBT movements is quite simple to understand, if one takes as starting point democracy as a society model which actively includes diversity and all responsible alternative lifestyles in a natural way. But back then not all LGBT groups shared this opinion, and arguments went back and forth which sometimes demonstrated that a lot of erroneous ideas about polyamory were taken for granted, so some associations sugested something had to be actively done about it, and to organize an informative talk about polyamory, specially dedicated to LGBT activists. So came to life "Talking about Polyamory", at Crew Hassan on the 05.06.08, co-organized by PolyPortugal and Panteras Rosa, respectively represented by Antidote and Sérgio Vitorino (summary here, in portuguese). .

Polyamory, networking, why? Hamburg.

Discussion round on "Polyamory, why and how to network", with Steffi, at Schmacht Easter conference, in Hamburg, 2008. 23.3.08.

What is polyamory and how we live it, Munich, JuLe

(english below) Workshop e discussao "O que é poliamor e como o vivemos" antidote, Jacki e Illy. Munique 2007(?) JuLe, um grupo organizado de de jovens lésbicas (25-) em Munique, pediu ao grupo Polytanten de Munique, uma explicacao sobre poliamor dentro de um contexto lésbico/bi. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (english) Presentation and discussion "What is polyamory, how do we live it" antidote, Jacki and Illy. Munich 2007(?) JuLe is an organized group of lesbians under 25 in Munich, which asked us (the Munich Polytanten group) for session explaining polaymory in a lesbian/bi context.

"One, Many, None" at Ladyfest, Viena

(german below) One, Many, None at Ladyfest (Antidote and Illy) Ladyfest,Viena, 2007 (complete report can be found here in portuguese) You are angry about the prejudices and norms attached to being or not being in a relationship. Your partner loves somebody else, but the love between you and hir is not over. You wonder how this is going to work out. You have more than one relationship or would like to and want to talk to others about multiple relationships and polyamory. You are polyamorous, you do not have a relationship right now and you wonder how to tell new romantic interests, that you can imagine having more than one girlfriend/.../boyfriend. You don’t recognise yourself in the available catalogue of possible relationship types. Friends, lovers, love of one’s live, family, sex buddies are not sufficient to describe your wishes and feelings for others. What different types of contact to others are possible? Do you have everyday experiences to recount? What about time management, compersion, jealousy, compulsive coupledom, the faithfulness principle and the monogamy commandment? This won’t be a lecture. We want to provide space to discuss wishes, real life stories, alternative relationship forms and more. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Deutsch)

Eine, keine, viele. Workshop zu Beziehungsformen (Antidote und Illy) Wie ist das mit Zeitplanung, Resonanzfreude, Eifersucht, Pärchenzwang, Treueprinzip und Monogamiegebot? samstag/saturday 13-16 uhr, 1-4pm, i:da, zwölfergasse 9, 1150 wien

Du ärgerst dich über die Klischees und Vorurteile die damit zu tun haben, dass du oder dass du nicht in einer Beziehung lebst. Deine Liebste/.../Dein Liebster liebt noch jemanden, aber eure Liebe ist überhaupt nicht vorbei. Du überlegst wie das gehen kann. Du führst mehrere Beziehungen oder würdest das gerne tun und hast Lust dich mit anderen in Mehrfachbeziehungen und Polyamorie auszutauschen. Du bist polyamant, führst zur Zeit keine Beziehung und überlegst wie du neuen Bekanntschaften mitteilst, dass du dir gut vorstellen kannst mehr als eine Freundin/.../Freund zu haben. Du kannst dich in den vorhanden, verbreiteten Beziehungs- und Kontaktformen nicht wiederfinden. Freundin/.../Freund, Geliebte/.../Geliebter, große Liebe, Familie, Sexpartnerin/.../Sexpartner reichen nicht aus um deine Wünsche und Gefühle für andere Menschen auszudrücken. Welche verschiedenen Arten von Kontakt zu anderen kann es geben? Von welchen Alltagserlebnissen kannst du berichten? Wie ist das mit Zeitplanung, Resonanzfreude, Eifersucht, Pärchenzwang, Treueprinzip und Monogamiegebot? Wir machen keinen Vortrag, sondern machen Raum, um sich über Wunschvorstellungen, reale Geschichten, alternative Beziehungsformen und mehr auszutauschen.

I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. Organizacao

(english below) o colectivo PolyPortugal, representado por antidote, co-fundou e co-organizou em 2006 a I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. Foram 2 meses de trabalho realizado em tempo recorde, praticamente sem budget e a lutar contra muitas dificuldades. No fim, saiu uma marcha de que temos todos ainda muito orgulho e por que temos muito carinho. O poliamor é uma ideia que pertence, ombro a ombro, às reivindicacoes LGBT. E foi bom que se visse isso, e foi bom que o PolyPortugal pudesse contribuir um pouco à causa LGBT em Portugal. Para quem quiser saber mais sobre este assunto: http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2007/07/poly-porto-marcha.html ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (english) PolyPortugal, represented by antidote, co-organized and co-founded the 1st Porto Christopher Street Day March, Portugal in 2006. The orga-work took place in 2 very intensive months, with almost no budget and a very small team, and a lot of unexpected problems. But in the end it happened, and we are all still very proud of it, and have a special weak spot in our hearts for it. If you want to read more about it (in portuguese): http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2007/07/poly-porto-marcha.html