The Sexual Life of the Savages

Workshop: prepare your own bondage rope

2012-01-05T18:14:00.002+01:00

We are cunningly considering throwing a "How to prepare your own bondage rope" workshop.

During the last months of our teaching, we have been striving to keep the access to our workshops payable for folks with all kinds of economic backgrounds (using the self evaluation principle), and we noticed that the price of good quality bondage rope might be an issue for some people. Aditionally, we have seen that, independent of economic considerations, some people rather prepare their own bondage rope, either out of wanting to build a special relationship to the rope, allergy considerations, wanting to tune up the behaviour of rope to its final details, or even because even paying a lot of money, some, not all, retailers don't offer a quality consistent with the price they charge, or any other reason not covered here.

As some of you know, we use self prepared rope, and we feel, after many successes and fumbles, that we came to the point where we can show what we have learnt, and because we have to prepare some sets of ropes in the next couple of weeks anyway, we would throw a workshop on this.

Interested? Curious? Throw us a line (studiesforthunder [at] gmail [dot] com), as we are still carefully researching how many people would be interested and the resourses and planning involved.

Workshop would be in English/German, in a place in central Berlin to be disclosed further on.

performance: Gay Love Story goes Tacheles

2012-01-05T13:12:00.000+01:00

I am sorry to break the surprise, but for those of you following faithfully the performance Gay Love Story, *that* is the surprise performance announced for the next Queer Riot Club, at Tacheles, 14.1!

"A macho gay guy is sitting in a bar, waiting for his next victim...His lucky number seems to be this cute shy guy coming in... But things might not be what they seem."

In this 8' performance, in which a determinist interpretation is purposedly left impossible, themes are suggested like the role and space transgender people have (or not) in mainstream gay communities, date rape, gender clichées within the queer community, consent, danger associated with sex work, discrimination(s), guilt, fear, lust and ultimately, love.

The two performers, Lun Ário, Kay Garnellen and filmmakers Ann Antidote are queer sex-positive DIY performer artists based in Berlin.

Film: remember Gay Love Story

2012-01-03T18:52:00.000+01:00

The documentary "Remember Gay Love Story" (Ann Antidote) is reaching the end phase of its post production, after a very much needed "cool down day" of only about 3 weeks for feedback collection, sleeping and lucidity recovery.

In this short film (aprox 7') we document the very first rehearsal and very first staging of the performance "Gay Love Story", by Lun Ário and Kay Garnellen, for the "Hurenball" (lit. Ball of the Whores), the party celebrating 30 years of Hydra e.V., an association for the defense of the rights and interests of sex workers in Berlin.

"A macho gay guy is sitting in a bar, waiting for his next victim...His lucky number seems to be this cute shy guy coming in... But things might not be what they seem."

In this 8' performance, in which a determinist interpretation is purposedly left impossible, themes are suggested like the role and space transgender people have (or not) in mainstream gay communities, date rape, gender clichées within the queer community, consent, danger associated with sex work, discrimination(s), guilt, fear, lust and ultimately, love.

The two performers, Lun Ário, Kay Garnellen and filmmakers Ann Antidote are queer sex-positive DIY performer artists based in Berlin, and Ann followed from quite near all preparations and settings for this performance and ultimately decided to document them.

For more information on the film and events related to it, please contact studiesforthunder [at] gmail [dot] com

Filme: "Férias em Vale Galdérias", Projecto Lei

2011-12-18T00:41:00.001+01:00

Screening do filme "Férias em Vale Galdérias" (http://polygarchutopia.blogspot.com/).
Segunda feira, 19.12.2011, 21h

Espaço Projecto Lei Rua do Passadiço n.º 68 1150-255 Lisboa

Com a presenca dos dois fazedores-de-filme, para uma animada sessao de perguntas e respostas.

... Entrada é livre, com contribuicao livre para apoiar este projeto.

Há bebidas várias a precos civilisados.

O filme retrata um acampamento de verão, de inspiração feminista ecológica e DIY, dirigido a mulheres+trans que desafiam o conceito de monogamia como tipo de relação normativa.

Neste evento, tudo é auto-organizado, desde as tarefas diárias, como a preparação dos alimentos, a limpeza ou o transporte de lenha para a fogueira do ponto de encontro, como todos os workshops e cursos ou mesmo um improvisado "matchmaking". É parte integrante da filosofia deste campo que pessoas de todos os tamanhos de bolsas possam participar.

No manifesto do campo pode-se ler "Mulheres que lutam contra a corrente também precisam de descanso" e continua: "longe da heteronormatividade, para trocar experiências, discutir utopias possíveis e conspirar para construir o mundo em que queremos viver".

Neste pequeno filme de 19 minutos são entrevistadas quatro participantes do campo que nos dizem o pouco espaço que há nesta sociedade para quem se define como mulher e/ou trans e/ou poly e/ou queer e/ou transgénero, e que nos falam sobre a sua visão do poliamor, sobre o acampamento, feminismo, identidades queer, e dos seus sonhos.

A different Xmas: 2 Workshops Bondage em Lisboa

2011-12-13T11:19:00.004+01:00

Na verdade não um mas dois workshops.

Introdução à Bondage, com foco no Shibari, para principiantes

Datas: Terça feira, 20.Dez.2011 e Terça feira, 27.Dez.2011
Hora: 20h receção e warm-up, começa pontualmente às 20.30, não é possível admitir ninguém depois de começar (por motivos de segurança emocional e discrição)
duração: mínima 2h, máxima 3h.
Local: a divulgar a quem se inscrever, perto do Marquês de Pombal
Conteúdo: Introdução teórica: apresentação, segurança, consenso, negociação, alguns aspetos da cena Kinbaku em Berlim. Parte Prática: primeiros nós, exemplos práticos de aplicação, improvisação. Dependendo da capacidade de absorção do grupo, algumas figuras ditas "clássicas"
Custo: auto-avaliação (em função da capacidade económica da pessoa), custo mínimo 10 euros/PAX.
numero mínimo de participantes: 5
Interesse, Informação e pré inscrição: studiesforthunder [arroba] riseup [ponto] net

pré inscrição até Sábado, dia 17, ao meio dia.

Comentário: geralmente definimos o workshop como para principiantes, mas em Berlim 80% das pessoas que tenho nas aulas são pessoas que o fazem há 1-2 anos, pois depois da parte inicial, vou mostrando coisas até as pessoas - ou os moderadores - atingirem o seu limite, ou seja, há de tudo para todos, mas eu insisto em começar do zero absoluto, até porque a maior parte das pessoas experientes (eu incluída) ainda luta com fazer algumas coisas consideradas básicas :-P Ou seja, os temas para principiantes tem toda a prioridade, mas dependendo do grupo vai haver coisas mais avançadas.

Workshops dados em Português, caso seja necessário, pode-se organizar tradução para Inglês.

Antidote in her music making aspect

2011-10-10T22:43:00.004+02:00

Antidote is an autodidact artist, entertaining herself and others with music, filmmaking and the occasional performance art.

Over the years, her curiosity and obcession with music brought her to mix several styles in her music makingand seek eccletism as a target in itself, in an humble attempt to create sonic landscapes.more >>

Save the Place, the tragic end of a real-estate agent

2011-09-25T17:47:00.007+02:00

In St. Pölten, Austria, at the Queer Feminist Network meeting, a workshop on DIY film making by Ola Marty took place.

The first result was, after 4 people came together (Ola, Iwan, Antidote and Lun Ario) a first short film "Save the Place".

the scrip was scribbled rather than writen in 10 minutes, the costumes were gathered from the "take and give" place at the LAMES house, the filming took 2 hours, the cutting and general post-production another 2 hours.

Synopsis: A real-estate agent visits the LAMES premises in St Pölten, where a queer meeting is taking place. She looks forward to accomplish her dreams of intense real-estate development of the area. But not everybody shares her dreams...

This film is purely fictional and intended as comedy and although we fight gentrification and mainstream pressure, we don't condone violence against real-estate agents.

Feedback welcome!

With some more time, a mute film structure was adopted, a more careful post production took place and new storyline elements were integrated. Save the Place, the timeless version in Sepia

But it was found out that the images lost much of its cheerfulness and strenght with monocromacity, so we kept the model and adopted a 50´s technicolour colour scheme. Save the Place, the timeless version (final):

Gay Love Story (Queer Burlesque Performance) at QueerFemNetwork Meeting, St Polten

2011-09-23T00:27:00.000+02:00

(under construction)

St. Polten, Austria, 23.9.2011, terrains of the LAMES.

http://queerfem2011.blogsport.eu/programmvorschau/#burlesque

BDSM 101

2011-09-22T00:31:00.000+02:00

(under construction)

Was supposed to be a workshop on Queer BDSM but it was canceled so we took over as it seemed that a BDSM 101 talk was very much needed.

together with Sadie
http://queerfem2011.blogsport.eu

Gay Love Story (Queer Burlesque Performance) at AHA

2011-09-17T00:18:00.000+02:00

(under construction)

Berlin, 17.9.2011

http://www.aha-berlin.de/termine/?datum=2011-09-17

wieder Trash-Deluxe. Das
neue Motto "Fame Monster" entführt euch in eine Welt voller Spaß,
Phantasie und Erotik. Ladet eure Freunde und Familie ein. Wie immer ist
ab 19 Uhr das Café geöffnet und um 20 Uhr beginnt die Show. Eintritt ist
wie immer Frei.

Workshop, regular: Bondage 101

2011-09-07T19:07:00.003+02:00

We offer in Berlin a monthly Bondage 101 hands-on workshop. First official date, 7.9.2011

Currently: 1st Thursday in the month.

We are considering offering a second event in the month, like a moderated improvisation session aka "pratica"

Safety, fun, first steps, first meters of rope.
Being a monthly event, the scope will move to more advanced topics, but we insist in having as part of the concept that it should remain a beginner-friendly event.

there is vegan soup to receive all participants, and a small donation, according to one´s self-evaluated finantial situation is encouraged.

invitational, place not publicly disclosed, write us (info right hand side at this blog) if you want to know more.

Cena do Ócio productions

2011-08-17T00:25:00.003+02:00

We went show business, that everybody knows, assuming that DIY products which barely raise donations could remotely be considered "business". So, not satisfied about doing performance and documentaries on appalling topics, we decided to try our rusty fingers at doing some music.

So, Cena do Ócio will be an umbrella for our films, CDs and performances. it will have its own homepage soon, but until then you can find us here, and make us very happy.

We (me and Lun Ario) are currently working feverlishly to finish a single (called "Our lives are shapped by what we love") containing at least a song as hommage to the communities and movements which shaped our lives (it is actually called "communities"). It is irony and smart-aleckdness free, just thankfulness and bliss. Hopefully to be aired at open stage at the Queertopiafestivalen Norberg where we will show "Vacations in Slut Meadow".

To contact us: antidote [at] imensis [dot] net

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JeLuLo: A performance

2011-07-25T16:23:00.005+02:00

Saturday, the 23.7, at KlangSynthese.

An integrated performance involving video art by Jny.one and this blog´s local contributors, Lokki and Lun Ario in bondage improvisation and looking pretty and fluffy. Film will eventually be available in the usual channels near you...

Bake your lovelie cakes, wear your crazy costumes, take your music instruments, your artworks ... If you have any funny idea to make this night crazy, do not hesitate ♥
(contact with email please)

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From 20H : participative buffet dinner (bring smthg to eat and drink)
Jam session : take your instruments !
Playlist : the best of our generation musics from the 80's, pop, rock and dance (take your stick with your selection !)
Visuals performances, queer surprises, costumization stand, make-up
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Through the night
X tractor crew : hip-hop, drumstep electro fidjet & breakcore dj sets
Kirdec : electro-punk dj set
Shaman Urbain : tekno dj set
Sim On Kor Funkle : happy hardcore / breakcore
Bazti : analogic liveset
Tato : breakcore bass-guitar perf
and more friends !!!

Workshop: Bondage 101 (Portugal)

2011-07-01T13:18:00.003+02:00

Depois de muitos anos a marinar e a bufar por nunca encontrar um sítio onde pudesse fazer este workshop, decidimos fazê-la e pronto. Por o fazermos numa casa particular e talvez por preguiça de ter de lidar com um grupo de desconhecidos ou um grupo instável com um tema sensível, foi um evento por convite e não de divulgação pública.

Na nossa descoberta da bondage foi-nos difícil encontrar pessoas com quem aprender e trocar ideias, e precisamente por isso queremos que outros não passem pela mesma coisa. Quisemos fazer em Portugal talvez pela primeira vez o que nós e outros fazemos regularmente em Berlim: Workshops de Bondage democráticas, não sexistas, acessíveis e de uma perspetiva queer.

Nos nossos eventos de Bondage 101 falamos do que todxs como participantes queremos, falamos de segurança, de material, mostramos os primeiros nós, e o que se pode falar e fazer com eles. E tentamos que todxs aprendam com todxs, sem exceção, e que seja uma experiência agradável.

Obrigada pela confiança. Haverá mais, sem dúvida.

Queer Bondage: A Gay Love Story

2011-04-29T19:17:00.003+02:00

Queer performance @ Varieté Vaudeville Verlan, Spedition | Belle Étage, Bremen

2011-03-11T15:10:00.006+01:00

Lun Ario will be performing in Bremen on March, 26th.

For details see the poster! :-)

We hope to see you there!

dein mein error: First photos

2011-03-10T13:44:00.002+01:00

Some photos taken by Ann Antidote.

"dein mein error", now we went show-bizz

2011-03-07T12:43:00.009+01:00

Lun Ario (aka +nuvens+) and Kaj Garnelen take part in the theater play "Dein Mein Error".

Prémiere: Ludwigsburg, ADK, Friday 4.3.2011 20h.

Here the trailer:

Dein Mein Error. from Franck and me on Vimeo.

Queer Bondage Performance @ Hurenball

2011-01-27T22:10:00.004+01:00

A associação Hydra, fundada em 1980 por algumas mulheres corajosas, completa 30 anos. Para quem não sabe, a Associação Hydra bate-se pelos direitos e interesses dxs trabalhadorxs sexuais e é baseada em Berlim. Quem quiser saber mais em português, clique aqui

E sim, completa 30 anos. Razão mais que suficiente para festejar, com o Hurenball, o "Baile das Putas". Festejemos então todos os que achamos que devemos festejar também. Sábado, 29 deJaneiro de 2011, 21h, KitKatClub, em Berlim

Alguém que contribui para o Sexual Life of the Savages ("nuvens") contribui com uma humilde e nervosa participação numa performance envolvendo bondage e de conteúdo fortemente político. As fotos e a resenha da performance virao em breve (nao antes, que é para nao estragar a surpresa)!!!

Queer Bondage Performance at Warehouse Party

2011-01-20T22:29:00.001+01:00

Queer Bondage Performance at Warehouse #03: The 120 Happy Days of Sodom
with "nuvens", who by the way, is too shy to appear in photos and therefore is not the sexy pony in the photo...

Credits: Photos Amaury Grisel

Bondage Workshop (as replacement for Dasniya)

2010-12-29T18:38:00.007+01:00

...lokki and Lun Ario ("nuvens") stepped in as replacement during Dasniya´s absence (Parsifal mise-en-céne) for the weekly bondage workshop.

September 2010, January and February 2011.

Thanks for the trust!

credits: foto by Amaury Grisel

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News and Sugestions

2010-10-07T19:37:00.000+02:00

(english below)

Novidades e as vossas sugestões, aqui!!!!!

De momento não há nada planeado, agradecemos sugestões e/ou convites.
Há no entanto já algumas ideias a fermentar, ou mesmo já desenvolvidas, e que simplesmente esperam por um espaço ou um evento para acontecer. Curiosxs? Digam coisas!

...passing, tudo o que quis saber sobre SM e teve demasiada vergonha para perguntar, como fazer os próprios brinquedos sexuais, como organizar uma sex party (que corra bem), técnicas de engate, interculturalidade e migracao em contexto LGBT...

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(english)

News and Sugestions
Nothing planned for the moment, but looking forward to suggestions and invitiations.

In the forge are some ideas already, sometimes just looking for the right space, or the right event to take place. Curious? Drop us a line.

(Queer) Polystammtisch Berlin

2010-10-05T19:24:00.004+02:00

Queer Poly Meetup in Berlin

(English below)

QueerPolyBerlin: Encontro regular poly para mulheres e trans* em Berlin
(De 4.10.10)

Pessoas poly tem necessidade de se encontrar com outros que assim vivam ou se interessem pela ideia. A unicidades dos seus problemas, e a incapacidade de muitas vezes serem compreendidos pelos não-poly sao os grandes motores destes encontros.

Em Berlim, começou a aparecer, em 2007, a necessidade não só de um grupo poly, mas de um grupo dirigido principalmente para mulheres e trans*, no geral de filosofia queer.

Sendo assim, a Lisa e depois Rowin, fundaram e moderaram o polystammtisch-berlin@gmx.de, um encontro de poliamoristas mensal regular, e aberto, para mulheres e trans* queer. Desde ontem antidote modera a lista electrónica que o suporta..

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(English)

QueerPolyBerlin: Regular poly meet-up for women and trans* in Berlin
(From 4.10.10)

poly folks need to meet kindred spirits, in order to exchange ideas and find solutions in a more efficient way to usually very specific problems. Their unique problems, and the dificulty in being taken serious by the mainstream society is a a powerful motor to such meet-ups.

In Berlin, Rown and Lisa have been moderating polystammtisch-berlin@gmx.de. , a regular poly meet-up for women and trans* since about 2007. Since yesterday antidote is taking care of the electronic list supporting it.

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(deutsch)

Polystammtisch für Queer Frauen/Transgender (Berlin)

Polyamouröser Frauen/Transgender-Stammtisch (Berlin) , Austausch über das Stricken an polyamourösen Beziehungsnetzen, so manche Laufmasche und die wunderschönen Muster, die sich ergeben können. Jeden 2. Mittwoch im Monat um 20:00,Silverfuture, Weserstr. 206 (das ist zwischen Pannierstr. und Nansenstr.), 12047 Berlin-Neukölln. Info und Kontakt: polystammtisch-berlin@gmx.de.

Queer and Kids, Berlin, meet-up for alternative parent* networks

2010-08-14T18:05:00.000+02:00

(english and german below)

Começa a haver um interesse cada vez maior, dentro ou fora de constelações poly, na criação de modelos alternativos familiares e de relação com "a gente pequena" ou crianças. Trata-se do desejo concreto, a longo prazo, de assumir parentalidades de crianças, em que haja mais do que um ou dois adultos envolvidos, e em que os papeis educadores sejam conscientemente assumidos e definidos e não sejam influenciados pelo género social ou pelo modo de vida.

Para se começar a discutir possibilidades, para se criar uma rede de apoio, e para apoiar situações já existentes ou emergentes, criou-se recentemente em Berlim o grupo "queer com miúdos" (Queer mit Kind, em alemão) , de cuja organização eu faço parte.

Extracto do manifesto: "Somos o grupo "queers com miúdos" (Aka parentalidades*), e somos um grupo de adultos, de background queer e de esquerda, que procuram criar um encontro para discussão e eventual intervenção na sociedade, acerca de modelos de educação alternativos, sua aplicação na sociedade, sua aceitação, bem como investigação das possibilidades de relações com os outros adultos envolvidos na educação de uma criança. Procuramos para isso outros queers radicais que desejem assumir parentalidade(s) numa perspectiva *concreta* e de longo prazo.."

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(English)

Interest is starting to grow aournd the topic alternative families, either among poly people or not. We mean here a sincere, long-term and responsible wish to rear children (aka "small people") in constelations with more than one or two adults, and where the role played by each educator is consciously self-chosen instead of stuff like social gender or lifestyle of the adults involved.

In order to discuss what possibilities exist, to creat a self-support network, and to support and learn from already existing situations, the group "Queer with Kids" (Queer mit Kind, in german) was recently created in Berlin.

A small extract from its manifest: "We are the Queer with Kids group (aka parents*) , and we are a group of queer and left-wing adults, who seek to create a meet-up for discussion, support and intervention on alternative education models, its application in society, its acceptance, as well as investigating what possibilities exist of relating to other adults involved in such education of children. Therefore we seek other queers who nurture the wish to assume a parent* role in a long term, concrete and responsible perspective.

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(german)

Die Queere Elternschaften* Gruppe (Queer mit Kind) richtet sich an Menschen mit einem linken hersschaftskritischen und queeren Hintergrund, welche elternschaftliche Beziehungen zu jungen Menschen leben möchten

A small Q&A on polyamory, UEEH, Marseille

2010-07-23T16:07:00.004+02:00

On the 23.July.10, already in the closing end of the UEEH, in Marseille, a small and spontaneous screening of the documentary "Vacations in Slutmeadow" (“Ferien in Schlampenau”) took place. Around 20 people showed up, and the session ended up as Q&A on the topics of polyamory, the need for networking that is almost automatic to all poly lifestyles, which was the motivation behind the organization of such a poly summercamp, and a small discussion on practical issues and its implementation.

more about the camp (in portuguese):
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2008/04/um-campo-de-frias-para-galdrias.html
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/06/summercamp-poly-feminista-ferias-em.html

more about the film "Vacations in Slutmeadow":
http://lube-nomads.blogspot.com/2010/05/documentary-film-on-slutmeadowschlampen.html

Polyamory and Jealousy, UEEH, Marseille

2010-07-23T16:06:00.000+02:00

Poly and Jealousy
22.July.2010 Marseille, UEEH antidote and Éskìw

Whenever a polyamoury lifestyle is mentioned or considered, usually a lot of questions regarding jealousy pop up immediately.

But what is then this disruptive green-eyed monster? Do we all speak of the same thing when we mention jealousy? Do we know what it can put at stake? Are we susceptible to it? Do we have to deal with it? Do we know how to deal with it? And what about compersion?

In this workshop there will not be universal or magical answers to those questions, but we will all be challenged to use the opportunity to find our own personal and tailored answers, with the help of the group. For this, we will sit together, try to analyse a couple of aspects in a simple and pragmatic way, suggest some tools, share our thoughts, and brainstorm together to help everybody find hir personal answer to such questions.

No previous experience with polyamoury lifestyle is required.

daneben:subkultur für Frauen

2010-07-09T01:08:00.001+02:00

member of Orga-team and soup slut for daneben, subkultur für Frauen
(2007-2009)

Documentary (film) on Slutmeadow/Schlampenau

2010-05-30T13:01:00.004+02:00

(german below)

In 2007 the first ”Ferien in Schlampenau”, which roughly translates to “Vacations in Slut Meadow”, took place in Germany, becoming meanwhile a yearly feminist summer camp for women who challenge the concept of monogamy as the sole accepted relationship model.

“Also unnatural women need rest”, said the invitation, “and to spend time with other sluts, away from the heteronormativity, exchanging experiences, discussing utopias or developing a new relationship culture.”

In this DIY, no-budget film, word is given to four participants in Schlampenau and they speak about polyamory, the camp itself, feminism, queer identities and their dreams for the future.

The film shows a sense of fight against alienation in a society where being a woman, polyamorous, feminist, queer or transgender is often misunderstood or outright repressed. The camp is revealed as a place of togetherness, freedom, discussion and fun.

Ladies from all genders and gentlemen, welcome to Schlampenau.

More on the film at the film´s blog: here (http:://polygarchutopia.blogspot.com) !

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2007 fand das erste "Ferien in Schlampenau, Sommercamp für unnatürliche Frauen" statt, dass inzwischen zu einer jährlichen Veranstaltung geworden ist.

"Auch unnatürliche Frauen brauchen Erholung", stand in der Ankündigung, "einfach Zeit mit anderen Schlampen verbringen, fernab der Heteronormativität, um Erfahrungen auszutauschen, Utopien zu diskutieren oder gemeinsam eine neue Beziehungskultur zu entwickeln."

Vier Teilnehmerinnen sprechen über Polyamorie, das Sommercamp, Feminismus, Queer Identitäten und ihre Träume für die Zukunft.

Dieser do-it-yourself (and no budget) Dokumentarfilm zeigt einen Kampfgeist gegen die Entfremdung in einer Gesellschaft wo immer missverstanden oder unterdrückt wird, wenn man eine Frau, polyamorös, Feministin, queer oder transgender ist. Das Camp erscheint als ein Ort der Zusammengehörigkeit, der Freiheit, des Austausches und für Spass.

Mehr darüber @ Blog zur Film: hier (http://polygarchutopia.blogspot.com).

Don't rebuff your way to happiness, Manchester

2010-05-29T16:14:00.005+02:00

Don't rebuff your way to happiness: a workshop on “Saying no”

29.5.2010, Manchester, at the SM Dykes Conference Lokki and Éskìw

Workshop Goals: to learn strategies to effectively communicate what you want (and understanding what you want), to learn strategies for expressing disagreement in a positive and constructive way, learning to say "no" with or without providing justifications.

Can we honestly say, about ourselves, that we say “no” on every occasion that we should? Hmmm, maybe not. Saying “no” is important, actually it’s vital, but saying “no” in the right situation can be very difficult. There are several mechanisms which make “saying no” quite difficult, like fear of rejection or retaliation, peer pressure, or even an entangled bundle of possible cultural reasons linked to expressing disagreement. We will look at issues such as how the dynamics can affect the negotiation process and the problem of being part of a small group and how being part of one can affect your ability to say no.

Practical exercise: a negotiation situation. Evaluation of the exercise (what went well and not so well, and why; strategies that work best). Presentation of some simple strategies for expressing disagreement and saying “no.”

Polyamory and Jealousy, Manchester

2010-05-29T16:05:00.005+02:00

On green-eyed monsters, compersive teddies, and humans in-between (a workshop on jealousy in polyamourous constellations)

Lokki and Éskìw 29.May.10, Manchester, SM Dykes Conference

Whenever a polyamoury lifestyle is mentioned or considered, usually a lot of questions regarding jealousy pop up immediately.

In this workshop there will not be universal or magical answers to those questions, but we will all be challenged to use the opportunity to find our own personal and tailored answers, with the help of the group. For this, we will sit together, try to analyse a couple of aspects in a simple and pragmatic way, suggest some tools, share our thoughts, and brainstorm together to help everybody find hir personal answer to such questions.

No previous experience with polyamoury lifestyle is required.

Bondage 101, showing you safely the ropes. Berlin.

2010-02-08T19:21:00.004+01:00

Bondage 101, showing you the ropes in a safe way
8.2.2010, Berlin, Be_Cunt party

This is meant as a very basic introduction to bondage for absolute beginers. A very significant part of it will be dedicated to considerations on material, your motivation for doing bondage, safety, negotiation, responsability. You will be encouraged to think and find out what suits you best, regarding the above mentioned topics. Only after you are scared to death after this frist phase, and correspondingly aware that some care must be taken when dealing with rope, we will look together, slowly and carefully, on the first approaches to *fun* with rope and what possibilities it offers. The techniques shown during the workshop will depend on the size of the group and its dynamic.

References to more advanced bondage workhops, networking and bibliography, etc, will be provided.

Safer Sex: Take pleasure in your hands, Lisbon

2009-12-22T16:12:00.004+01:00

(english below)

Sexo Mais Seguro: O prazer está nas tuas mãos

O Sexo mais Seguro é não só útil para prevenir várias doenças desagradáveis, mortais, limitantes ou incómodas, mas também para tornar o sexo uma experiência mais agradável e divertida.

O Sexo mais Seguro é mais uma atitude crítica acerca da nossa postura e comportamento do que um conjunto de práticas. Neste workshops iremos reflectir em grupo sobre o conceito de redução de risco, falar de algumas técnicas mais comuns, e desmontar alguns preconceitos. Teremos activamente em conta que há mais géneros do que homem e mulher, e que há várias definições, muito pessoais ou não, do que sexo é.

As discussões e reflexões em grupo permitirão a cada participante encontrar a solução mais adequada para si proprix.

Workshop para mulheres e trans* de todos os géneros.
Preço: 3 euros incluindo material.

Terça feira, 22 de Dezembro, às 19.00 na UMAR. Rua de S. Lázaro 111.1o, Lisboa

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(English)

SafeR Sex: Hold pleasure with both hands

SafeR Sex is a very useful tool, not only to prevent unpleasant, deadly or scarring diseases, but can also make sex a more pleasant and quite fun experience.

SafeR Sex is more about criticism being exerted on our behaviour and attitude rather than a set of practices. In this workshop we will sit and think together about what risk means, talk about some common practices, and demolish some prejudices. We will actively assume a non-binary world vision regarding gender, and that what sex means, and what sex is, is something very personal and can be quite manyfold.

Group reflection and discussion will allow each participant finding the most adequate solution for hir.

Workshop for women and trans* of all genders.
Price: 3 euro, material included.
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Saying “No” when you really need it. Lisbon.

2009-10-29T16:13:00.005+01:00

(English below)

Tampas: dá-las e recebe-las: Uma oficina sobre “dizer não” quando é preciso.
29.10.2010, Lisboa, UMAR, antidote e Éskìw

Dizemos “não” sempre que queremos? Hmm, talvez não.. “Dizer não” é importante e vital, mas “dizer não” em todas as ocasiões necessárias é muitas vezes difícil. Há vários mecanismos que tornam o “dizer não” difícil, como por ex., o medo de não sermos aceites, pressão social, o medo de represálias, ou mesmo condicionalismos culturais de vários tipos.

O “dizer não” é importante quer em situações do dia a dia, no trabalho, família, relações, quer em situações perigosas para a integridade pessoal. Neste workshop não vai haver receitas mágicas, mas vai-se tentar expor o problema em termos simples, discuti-lo convosco, e fazer alguns exercícios em grupo que permitam a cada uma reflectir e encontrar a solução mais adequada.

A oficina é aberta a todxs, mas foi pensada para e com um contexto queer,(ou queer-friendly) e feminista.

Quinta feira, 29 de Outubro, às 20.00 na UMAR. Rua de S. Lázaro 111.1o, Lisboa

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(English)

"Saying no" when you really need it

Can we honestly say, about ourselves, that we say “no” on every occasion that we should? Hmmm, maybe not. Saying “no” is important, actually it’s vital, but saying “no” in the right situation can be very difficult. There are several mechanisms which make “saying no” quite difficult, like fear of rejection or retaliation, peer pressure, or even an entangled bundle of possible cultural reasons linked to expressing disagreement. We will look at issues such as how the dynamics can affect the negotiation process and the problem of being part of a small group and how being part of one can affect your ability to say no.

Practical exercise: a negotiation situation. Evaluation of the exercise (what went well and not so well, and why; strategies that work best). Presentation of some simple strategies for expressing disagreement and saying “no.”

Final considerations: the importance of knowing what one wants in the communication negotiation process. Expressing disagreement as a space/ act of personal empowerment and self-esteem.

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Blog: PolyPortugal. Poliamor em Português

2009-08-06T18:29:00.003+02:00

Blog PolyPortugal
founded June 2009

(english below)

PolyPortugal é um grupo de discussão e apoio para pessoas que se interessam por e/ou praticam o Poliamor. Alguns dos membros interessam-se também por activamente tornar a sociedade mais amistosa para com o Poliamor em particular e para com a diversidade em geral. O blog polyportugal tornou-se a página oficicial deste grupo. Antidote é um dos membros fundadores e regulares deste blog, que está activo desde Junho de 2009.

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(english)

PolyPortugal is a discussion and self-support group for polyamorists or people interested in polyamory. Some of its members are also activists and try to re-forge a society more friendly to poliamorists and to diversity in general. The polyportugal blog became the main oficial page of this colective. Antidote is one of its founding members, and a regular contributo to this blog, which is active since June 2009.desde Junho de 2009.

Polyamory, support-groups and activism, Munich

2009-08-02T16:03:00.006+02:00

"Poly, Poly support-groups and poly-activism", by antidote and nuvens-no-céu-azul
at "1st Munich's "Poly Begegnungtag", 08.02.09.

There are as many ideals and realities of poly as people. All of us have different wishes and dreams in respect to poly, all of us (try to) make them real in different ways. But independent of those differences, common to us all, are the experiences of poly-closet, pressure to decide, mono-normative pressure or attacks, isolation or discrimination. Those aggressions, together with the uniqueness of poly problems, lead people to naturally group in search of mutual comfort, identity or solutions to similar shaped problems. Some people might pro-actively organize themselves to influence the way poly is perceived by the society, and thus make it a less aggressive and dangerous place.

In this workshop we would like to address and discuss with you the role that this activism has, or has not, or should have, or should not have, as well as the motors that change, voluntarily or involuntarily, the acceptance or the perception of ideas along History, how those motors feed from activism or the other way around, etc..

Booklet "polyamory and International Women´s day"

2009-03-03T16:49:00.003+01:00

Panfleto "Polyamor e o Dia Internacional da Mulher"
(writen by antidote and Lara around 3.3.09).

Está aqui o link para o panfleto que alguns membros do colectivo poly-portugal (Lara e antidote) desenvolveram e distribuíram ontem, 8 de Março, dia da Mulher, na concentração na Alameda D. Afonso Henriques, em Lisboa.

Sim, eu sei, não dá para ler, cliquem na imagem para a aumentar :-)

http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/03/dia-da-mulher-e-poliamor.html

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(English)

Booklet "PolyAmory and the International Women´s day"
(writen by antidote and Lara around 3.3.09).

Here below the link to the booklet which some members of poly-portugal developed, printed and distributed on the 8th of March (International Women´s Day) at the national demonstration, in Lisbon, at Alameda D. Afonso Henriques.

Please click on the image so that it is possible to read the text!

http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/03/dia-da-mulher-e-poliamor.html

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One of the first fliers for PolyPortugal

2009-01-11T19:15:00.001+01:00

um dos primeiros e mais antigos fliers de divulgacao do PolyPortugal.

Publicado pela primeira vez aqui:
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/01/flier-poly-portugal.html

Para aqueles interessados em imprimir e distribuir, escrevam-me que eu mando uma versão em pdf pronta a imprimir, com 8 fliers por A4. Nao usem o ficheiro abaixo, que a resolução é miserável.

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(English)

One of the first fliers for PolyPortugal

Published for the first time here:
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/01/flier-poly-portugal.html

For those willing to help (printing and distributing it), please write me a PM, so that I can send you a pdf version, ready-to-print, 8 fliers per A4. Don´t use the linked file, as the resolution is not good enough.

Krakenpostille

2008-11-11T11:11:00.001+01:00

(english, german below)

O Krakenpostille é uma newsletter de apoio à revista K rake e assuntos relacionados. Novidades acerca da Krake, ou sobre Schlampenau (poly summer camp para mulheres e trans*), encontros, festas, etc são anunciados através desta newsletter, mantida por Antidote. (desde Nov. 08)

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(english)

The Krakenpostille newsletter was born to support the Krake zine and related topics. All news regarding the Krake, Schlampenau (the poly summercampfor women and trans*), gatherings and parties are broadcasted over this newsletter, maintained by Antidote. (since Nov.08)
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(german)

Krakenpostille newsletter: alle updates/broadcast über die Krake, FerienLager für unnatürliche Damen, polyamory events, stammtich, workshops, gatherings, parties, u.s.w. Gepflegt von Antidote (Seit Nov.08)

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Apoio á imprensa em artigos sobre Poliamor

2008-10-13T13:23:00.006+02:00

(english below)

Entre 2006 e 2009, através do blog Our Laundry List ou do www.poliamor.pt.to (mantido por Lara), antidote recebeu muitos convites para entrevistas. Sempre que foi possível, e uma vez que o tema poliamor era na altura ainda bastante pouco documentado e conhecido, tentou apoiar os jornalistas com material de leitura e corrigir alguns erros nos artigos antes de estes serem publicados. É preciso acrescentar que antidote deixou de trabalhar com a imprensa, em princípios de 2009, por notar que na maioria das vezes os artigos continham erros científicos ou que continham citações alegadamente suas que não o eram, ou mesmo citações fora de contexto. Mesmo assim, estes artigos, e outros feitas com e sobre outras pessoas do PolyPortugal, tiveram um papel importante na divulgação do conceito de poliamor junto da sociedade mainstream portuguesa.

Ficam aqui os links para os artigos em pdf. Há mais artigos sobre e com pessoas do grupo PolyPortugal aqui.

Revista Grazia, Setembro 2006
semanário SOL, Fevereiro 2008
Maria, Agosto 2008:
Jornal de Noticias, Outubro 2008
Máxima, Outubro de 2008

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(english)

Between 2006 and 2009, through blog Our Laundry List or website www.poliamor.pt.to (upkept byLara), antidote was often approached by journalists. Whenever possible, and because back then there was not so much to read available on polyamory, antidote tried to support the journalists with reading material and by correcting their textes before they were printed. For completeness, antidote stopped working with the press begining of 2009 exactly because too many articles contained either crass mistakes, misquotations or out of context quotations. It is nevertheless worth mentioning, that such articles, and others about and with other people from PolyPortugal, had a very important role in the difusion polyamory as a positive concept among the mainstream portuguese society.

Here the links to the articles in pdf form. More articles with and about other people from PolyPortugal here.

Revista Grazia, Setembro 2006
semanário SOL, Fevereiro 2008
Maria, Agosto 2008:
Jornal de Noticias, Outubro 2008
Máxima, Outubro de 2008

artigos na "Bichana" (poliamor e LGBT)

2008-08-11T16:56:00.004+02:00

(English below)

Colaboracao na Bichana, zine e blogue das Panteras Rosa.
(Desde 8.Maio.2009)

Quando tenho ideias que cheguem em vez de ter bloqueios de escrita, escrevo por vezes também no blog a Bichana, zine e blog das Panteras Rosa. Aqui fica o hyperlink para alguns desses artigos: antidote na Bichana.

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(English)

Giving a helping hand at Bichana, zine and blog from Panteras Rosa Portugal.

Sometimes I also write in the Bichana, zine and blog from Panteras Rosa , a portuguese activist organization for LGBT topics. Here the link to some of those articles: antidote goes Bichana

QueerPolyMuc meet-up in Munich

2008-08-09T18:14:00.003+02:00

(English below)

QueerPolyMuc: Encontro regular poly para mulheres e trans* em Munique
(De 9.8.2008 até 09.2009)

Pessoas poly tem necessidade de se encontrar com outros que assim vivam ou se interessem pela ideia. A unicidades dos seus problemas, e a incapacidade de muitas vezes serem compreendidos pelos não-poly sao os grandes motores destes encontros.

Em Munique, começou a aparecer para mim e pessoas à minha volta, a necessidade não só de um grupo poly, mas de um grupo dirigido principalmente para mulheres e trans*, mas no geral de filosofia queer.

Sendo assim, juntamente com mais outras pessoas, fundamos, moderamos e organizamos o QueerPolyMuc, um encontro de poliamoristas mensal regular, e aberto, para mulheres e trans*

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(English)

QueerPolyMuc: Regular poly meet-up for women and trans* in Munich
(From 9.8.2008 until 09.2009)

poly folks need to meet kindred spirits, in order to exchange ideas and find solutions in a more efficient way to usually very specific problems. Their unique problems, and the dificulty in being taken serious by the mainstream society is a a powerful motor to such meet-ups.

In Munich, I an people around me, startet to feel the need to build up, not only a poly meet-up, but a poly meet-up of queer inspiration, directed for women and trans*.

Following up on that, me and a fistful of stubborn others, grounded, moderated and organized QueerPolyMuc, a regular poly meet-up for women and trans*.

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(deutsch)

Polystammtisch für Frauen/Transgender (München)

jede 2 Monat, Jede 3 Donnerstag. Kafe Kopfeck, 19.30, bei interesse oder fragen antidote@imensis.net oder http://www.diepolytanten.de.tc/ unter "Events".

Vacations in Slutmeadow (co-orga)

2008-08-03T18:04:00.002+02:00

(english below)

Férias em Vale Galdérias, 2008, Alemanha
co-organização da segunda edicao do "Férias em Vale Galdérias", um acampamento de Verão para mulheres (e trans*) que se interessem ou vivam em não-monogamia responsável. Mais informação sobre o campo em die PolyTanten ("events").

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(english)

Ferien in Schlampenau 2008, Germany
co-Orgateam member of the second “Ferien in Schlampenau”, a summercamp for non monogamous ladies (Workshops, networking, utopias). See die PolyTanten under "events" for more information.

Panfleto "Poliamor e as Marchas do Orgulho LGBT"

2008-06-28T21:09:00.006+02:00

(english below)

Em 2008, alguns membros do PolyPortugal (nomes em breve: Lara, Daniel., Ana...), escreveram um pequeno panfleto para explicar o poliamor em geral, e em particular "o porquê" da participação do polyportugal nas marchas do orgulho LGBT. Relembro que o PolyPortugal, está desde a primeira hora na organização da primeira marcha do Orgulho no Porto, em 2006.

O panfleto pode ser encontrado aqui, convém clicar na imagem para se conseguir ler.

http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2008/06/httpwww.html

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(english)

In 2008, some members of PolyPortugal (names to be added soon), wrote a small booklet explaining polyamory and moreover the background for its participation in organizating the Christopher Street Day demonstration. I would like to emboss that PolyPortugal is founder member of Porto CSD, since 2006.

the leaflet (portuguese) can be found here, and you need to click on the image in order to get it in a readable format.

http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2008/06/httpwww.html

Conversas sobre Poliamor, Lisboa, Crew Hassan

2008-05-06T15:34:00.004+02:00

(english below)

Conversas sobre Poliamor, a 05.06.08, na Crew Hassan
antidote e Sérgio Vitorino

Em 2006, o PolyPortugal, via antidote, co-organizou e co-fundou a I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. A associação entre poliamor e movimentos LGBT é bastante simples de entender, do ponto de vista da defesa da diversidade e dos modos de vida alternativos e responsáveis. Mas nem todas as associações LGBT foram da mesma opinião, e ventilaram-se argumentos que nem sempre reflectiam o que o poliamor defende, e pensou-se em fazer mais activamente uma sessão de divulgação, com particular dedicação a um publico de activistas LGBT, sobre poliamor.

Surgiram assim as "Conversas sobre Poliamor", a 05.06.08, na Crew Hassan, co-organizadas pelo PolyPortugal e Panteras Rosa, representados respectivamente por Antidote e Sérgio Vitorino (resumo aqui).

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(English)

Talking about Polyamory, 05.06.08, Crew Hassan
antidote e Sérgio Vitorino

PolyPortugal, in 2006, via antidote, co-organized e co-founded the 1st Christopher Street Day Demonstration in Porto. The association of polyamory and LGBT movements is quite simple to understand, if one takes as starting point democracy as a society model which actively includes diversity and all responsible alternative lifestyles in a natural way. But back then not all LGBT groups shared this opinion, and arguments went back and forth which sometimes demonstrated that a lot of erroneous ideas about polyamory were taken for granted, so some associations sugested something had to be actively done about it, and to organize an informative talk about polyamory, specially dedicated to LGBT activists.

So came to life "Talking about Polyamory", at Crew Hassan on the 05.06.08, co-organized by PolyPortugal and Panteras Rosa, respectively represented by Antidote and Sérgio Vitorino (summary here, in portuguese).

.

Polyamory, networking, why? Hamburg.

2008-03-23T16:02:00.002+01:00

Discussion round on "Polyamory, why and how to network", with Steffi, at Schmacht Easter conference, in Hamburg, 2008. 23.3.08.

Poly-Portugal mailing list

2007-11-21T18:56:00.007+01:00

(English below)

participação e moderação na lista electrónica PolyPortugal.
membro desde 4.Jun.06. admin/owner desde 24.Apr.08

(texto extraido de http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/01/polyportugal-em-5min.html)
A lista PolyPortugal é um grupo de discussão e auto-suporte para pessoas que se interessam e/ou praticam o poliamor, e para quem Portugal ou a língua portuguesa é de algum modo uma referência. Alguns dos membros interessam-se também por tornar, activamente, a sociedade mais amistosa para com o poliamor em particular e para com a diversidade em geral. Por outras palavras, alguns de nós definem-se como activistas.

O poliamor nem sempre é fácil de pôr em prática, e pode apresentar desafios novos, para os quais não há receitas nem tradições pré-existentes. Independentemente disso, muitas vezes, a sua vivência colide com valores mais tradicionais vigentes na nossa sociedade bastante normativa. Sendo assim, o PolyPortugal, na sua faceta de grupo de discussão e auto -suporte, é um fórum em que pessoas, diferentes entre si, mas com um interesse comum, podem ajudar-se mutuamente na busca de soluções para problemas comuns. (...)

O link para o grupo não é publico. os membros são filtrados um a um, para evitar abusos, frequentes no passado, e para protecção da privacidade dos membros.

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(english)

PolyPortugal is an electronic self support, discussion and activist group for portuguese speakers with an interest for non monogamous life styles.

The link to PolyPortugal is not public, and it is intended so. Members are filtered, in order to prevent abuse, and to protect member´s privacy. If you think you belong to the group, please send us a short email, and we eill be glad to invite you.

antidote is active in PolyPortugal electronic group since June.06 and is its admin since April.08

"schlampige polytanten" electronic group

2007-11-11T18:42:00.003+01:00

(german below)

antidote is Moderator of mailing list "die schlampige Polytanten" since Nov/07, but participates in it since mid of 2006. The "schlampige Polytanten" distribution list, is a german language based self support and discussion group for women and trans* wiht an interest for non monogamous life styles.

The link to the group is not public, in order to protect member´s privacy and prevent abuse. If you think you belong to the schlampige Polytanten send us an email and we will gladly invite you.

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(Deutsch)

die schlampige Polytanten ist ein Verteiler für Unterstutzung, Vernetzung und Ideeaustausch für Frauen die polyamoröse leben oder sich für Nichtmonogam Lebensart interessieren.

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Articles about polyamory at the "Krake" zine

2007-08-11T16:53:00.005+02:00

(english below)

A Krake, "zine para senhoras contra-natura", é uma zine em alemão, vocacionada para mulheres e trans* que vivam ou se interessem pelo poliamor.

Para encomendar a Krake, visitem "die schlampige Polytanten"

antidote contribuiu com alguns artigos para vários números da Krake, e o link seguinte contém várias referências: http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/search?q=krake

Poly in portugal (part I), 2006
A perfect day, escrito em 2004, publlicado @Krake em 2007
Poly in Portugal, (part II), 2008

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(english)

The Krake, "the magazine for the unnatural woman", is a german language zine, directed mainly for women and trans* who live or have a serious interest in the polyamory lifestyle.

If you want to subscribe it, look for "Krake" under "die schlampige Polytanten"

antidote contributed with several articles to the Krake, and the following link contains references to some of them: http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/search?q=krake

Poly in portugal (part I), 2006
A perfect day, writen in 2004, published @Krake in 2007
Poly in Portugal, (part II), 2008

Webpage "die Schlampige Polytanten"

2007-08-10T18:36:00.012+02:00

(english, german below)

antidote é webmaster do "die schlampige Polytanten" desde Oct.07. Esta página apoia e tenta fazer convergir mulheres e trans* que se interessem por poliamor, e para quem a língua alemã é uma referencia ou mesmo o único canal de comunicação.

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(English)

antidote is webmaster of "die schlampige Polytanten" since Oct/07, an internet page dedicated to support and bring together women and trans* with an interest in polyamory lifestyle, and for whom the german language is the main communication tool.

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(deutsch)

antidote verwaltet seit Okt.07 die schlampige Polytanten webseite.
die schlampige Polytanten ist vielleicht die erste Internet-Seite für die Damen aller geschlechter die sich für das Thema "Nicht-Monogamie" und alternative Beziehungsformen interessieren. Dort kannst du Informationen finden, die für dich nützlich sein können. Wenn du alle aktuelle Informationen haben willst, dann kannst du dich für den Newsverteiler anmelden, der ca. 4 mal im Jahr verschickt wird.

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What is polyamory and how we live it, Munich, JuLe

2007-08-09T15:39:00.002+02:00

(english below)

Workshop e discussao "O que é poliamor e como o vivemos"
antidote, Jacki e Illy. Munique 2007(?)

JuLe, um grupo organizado de de jovens lésbicas (25-) em Munique, pediu ao grupo Polytanten de Munique, uma explicacao sobre poliamor dentro de um contexto lésbico/bi.

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(english)

Presentation and discussion "What is polyamory, how do we live it"
antidote, Jacki and Illy. Munich 2007(?)

JuLe is an organized group of lesbians under 25 in Munich, which asked us (the Munich Polytanten group) for session explaining polaymory in a lesbian/bi context.

Poly: Banca de Informacao at Porto Pride 2007

2007-08-07T18:16:00.003+02:00

(English below)

em 2007, tal como em 2006, o poly-portugal, representado por antidote, co-organizou a II marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto, e participou, com uma banca de informação sobre poliamor, na festa Porto Pride.

Esta banca, por questões organizativas e pessoais, foi partilhada em grande galhofa e colaboração com o Bi-Portugal!

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(english)

poly-portugal co-organised in 2007, like previously in 2006, the II Porto CSD and antidote organized and was at the polyamory information table at the Porto Pride party. Like previously in 2006, this information stand was merrily shared with Bi-Portugal!

"One, Many, None" at Ladyfest, Viena

2007-08-05T15:37:00.003+02:00

(german below)

One, Many, None at Ladyfest (Antidote and Illy)
Ladyfest,Viena, 2007

(complete report can be found here in portuguese)

You are angry about the prejudices and norms attached to being or not being in a relationship.

Your partner loves somebody else, but the love between you and hir is not over.

You wonder how this is going to work out. You have more than one relationship or would like to and want to talk to others about multiple relationships and polyamory.

You are polyamorous, you do not have a relationship right now and you wonder how to tell new romantic interests, that you can imagine having more than one girlfriend/.../boyfriend.

You don’t recognise yourself in the available catalogue of possible relationship types. Friends, lovers, love of one’s live, family, sex buddies are not sufficient to describe your wishes and feelings for others.

What different types of contact to others are possible? Do you have everyday experiences to recount? What about time management, compersion, jealousy, compulsive coupledom, the faithfulness principle and the monogamy commandment?

This won’t be a lecture. We want to provide space to discuss wishes, real life stories, alternative relationship forms and more.

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(Deutsch)

Eine, keine, viele. Workshop zu Beziehungsformen (Antidote und Illy)
Wie ist das mit Zeitplanung, Resonanzfreude, Eifersucht, Pärchenzwang, Treueprinzip und Monogamiegebot? samstag/saturday 13-16 uhr, 1-4pm, i:da, zwölfergasse 9, 1150 wien

Du ärgerst dich über die Klischees und Vorurteile die damit zu tun haben, dass du oder dass du nicht in einer Beziehung lebst. Deine Liebste/.../Dein Liebster liebt noch jemanden, aber eure Liebe ist überhaupt nicht vorbei.

Du überlegst wie das gehen kann. Du führst mehrere Beziehungen oder würdest das gerne tun und hast Lust dich mit anderen in Mehrfachbeziehungen und Polyamorie auszutauschen.

Du bist polyamant, führst zur Zeit keine Beziehung und überlegst wie du neuen Bekanntschaften mitteilst, dass du dir gut vorstellen kannst mehr als eine Freundin/.../Freund zu haben.

Du kannst dich in den vorhanden, verbreiteten Beziehungs- und Kontaktformen nicht wiederfinden. Freundin/.../Freund, Geliebte/.../Geliebter, große Liebe, Familie, Sexpartnerin/.../Sexpartner reichen nicht aus um deine Wünsche und Gefühle für andere Menschen auszudrücken.

Welche verschiedenen Arten von Kontakt zu anderen kann es geben? Von welchen Alltagserlebnissen kannst du berichten? Wie ist das mit Zeitplanung, Resonanzfreude, Eifersucht, Pärchenzwang, Treueprinzip und Monogamiegebot?

Wir machen keinen Vortrag, sondern machen Raum, um sich über Wunschvorstellungen, reale Geschichten, alternative Beziehungsformen und mehr auszutauschen.

Moderacao do sub-forum "Polyamory" do forum dominium

2006-10-28T16:44:00.000+02:00

Lokki modera e apimenta desde Setembro de 2006, infelizmente de modo bastante irregular, a seccao "Polyamory" do forum dominium, forum para modos de vida alternativos.

Lesbian Migrants group, Munich

2006-10-11T19:04:00.002+02:00

(english below)

Em Munique, em meados de 2006, criou-se um grupo de lésbicas (e bi) migrantes ou com background migrante. Fez-se deste grupo um encontro regular, para discussão e intervenção social, incluindo a tradução (Antidote) para português de um panfleto dirigido a migrantes LGBT sujeitos a dupla discriminação publicado pela cidade de Munique ("entre vários Mundos")

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(English)

A lesbian (And bi women) with migration background was founded in Munich in 2006. The objective of the regular meetings of this group was to discuss pertinent topics and to make social interventions, special about the topic if the double discrimination that most migrant-LGBT people undergo. Under the scope of this group, a bookled published by the City of Munich, about the condition of LGBT and Migrant ("between many worlds"), was translated to portuguese by antidote.

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Porto 2006. poly meet-ups

2006-08-08T18:12:00.004+02:00

(English below)

Encontros regulares ("meet-ups") no Porto, 2006, café Lusitano
antidote, e Paula (do PontoBi)

Em 2006, antidote estava muito interessada em poly (para além de o viver) e com bastante tempo ou pelo menos bastantes insónias nas mãos, e resolveu contrariar a ideia de que "em Portugal nao há pessoas poly".

O networking é muito importante para quem vive poliamor, e portanto, por necessidade e vocação, criou um evento regular ("meet-up") sobre poliamor, no Porto. Na altura a Paula, do PontoBi, estava a querer fazer a mesma coisa, e naturalmente juntaram esforços.

A publicidade feita em grupos electrónicos, principalmente LGBT, trouxe resultados, e durante 6 meses antidote moderou os encontros mensais sobre poliamor no Porto. Posteriormente outrxs tomaram a organização destes encontros nas mãos.

Citando Paula "com a rede criada com os meios LGBT, muita gente foi introduzida ao Poliamor desta forma - seja por conhecimento e aceitação, seja mesmo por adopção - e que com isso foram criadas condições que permitiram ao poly fazer-se representar como entidade numa marcha de Orgulho e que desde então tem sido corpo presente (quase todos os activistas queer que me recordo ou ficaram familiarizados dos encontros ou da Marcha - nomes retirados - ou da continua presença na marcha ou através do pessoal acima)."

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(english soon)

Poly "meet-ups", Porto, 2006, café Lusitano
antidote, e Paula (do PontoBi)

Around 2006, antidote was dedicating a lot of time to polyamory beyond living it, and had the opportunity to try and contradict the idea, widespread in Portugal that "in Portugal there are no polyamorists".

For polyamorists, networking is vital, so antidote tried to create a regular meet-up about polyamory in Porto. Back then, Paula, from BiPortugal, was trying to create something similar for bisexual people, so we naturaly joined forces and supported one another´s event.

Both meet-ups were heavily advertised among electronic groups, mainly LGBT, and for 6 months antidote moderated the monthly poly meet-up in Porto. After this time-frame, other people took over the meet-up organization.

Zona Livre, artigos sobre poliamor

2006-08-03T16:51:00.002+02:00

(English below)

Numa tentativa de chamar a atencao para o tema do poliamor no seio da comunidade activista LGBT, e ao mesmo tempo de tentar criar uma rede de pessoas interessadas seriamente nesse modo de vida, antidote escreveu uma pequena série de artigos para a Zona Livre, a revista mensal do Clube Safo. Aqui está o link para alguns desses artigos ou seus resumos.

Atrás de cada rosto insuspeito uma vida única. E á sua frente, um futuro único (Acerca de poliamor ppd)

resumo geral da Ladyfest, Viena, 2007

resumo do LFT encontro lesbico de primavera, Marburg, 2007

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(English)

Trying to raise the attention of the LGBT community to polyamory, and also in the atempt to stablish a network of poly-interested people, some articles were produced by antidote for the Zona Livre, the monthly magazine of Clube Safo, a portuguese lesbian association. here you can find the link to some of those articles or their summaries [port].

Atrás de cada rosto insuspeito uma vida única. E á sua frente, um futuro único (Acerca de poliamor ppd)
resumo geral da Ladyfest, Viena, 2007
resumo do LFT encontro lesbico de primavera, Marburg, 2007

Blogging: Our Laundry List

2006-08-01T18:19:00.003+02:00

(English below)

Edição, publicação e autor principal de Our Laundry List

O Our Laundry List, fundado em Janeiro de 2006, é provavelmente o blog mais antigo em português sobre "não monogamia responsável, gender topics, DIY e utopias possíveis".

Extracto de Sobre o Our Laundry List:

"Neste blog escreve-se maioritariamente sobre poliamor. Mas por vezes também sobre tudo o que é anti-normativo, ou que se tornam companheiros de estrada ocasionais ou automáticos dos poliamorosos e poliamoristas. Por vezes falamos de temas de género, por vezes de utopias. Outras de DIY ou de contra-cultura. Muita coisa.

Esperamos sinceramente que as nossas nem sempre humildes contribuições sejam úteis para quem as lê"

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(English)

Editor and author of Our Laundry List, probably the oldest blog on "consensual non monogamy, gender topics, DIY, and possible utopies" in portuguese language, founded in January 2006.

Quoting from about the Our Laundry List blog:

"Here we write mainly about polyamory. but sometimes also about everything non-normative, or the natural conspiracy companions of all polyamorists and polyamorous people. Sometimes we discuss gender topics, sometimes we get entangled by utopias. Sometimes we even get seduced by DIY ou alternative culture. A lot of stuff, actually.

We sincerely hope that our not always humble textes are useful to those who take the time to read them"

Poly: Banca de Informacao at Porto Pride 2006

2006-07-12T00:32:00.004+02:00

(english below)

Em 2006, representado por antidote, o poly-portugal, co-fundou e co-organizou a I marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto, e participou, com uma banca de informação sobre poliamor, na festa Porto Pride.

Esta banca, por questões organizativas e pessoais, foi partilhada em grande galhofa e colaboração com o Bi-Portugal!

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(english)

poly-portugal, represented by antidote, co-founded and co-organised in 2006, the I Porto CSD. antidote organized and was at the polyamory information table at the Porto Pride party. This information stand was merrily shared with Bi-Portugal!

I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. Organizacao

2006-05-08T17:59:00.002+02:00

(english below)

o colectivo PolyPortugal, representado por antidote, co-fundou e co-organizou em 2006 a I Marcha do Orgulho LGBT no Porto. Foram 2 meses de trabalho realizado em tempo recorde, praticamente sem budget e a lutar contra muitas dificuldades. No fim, saiu uma marcha de que temos todos ainda muito orgulho e por que temos muito carinho.

O poliamor é uma ideia que pertence, ombro a ombro, às reivindicacoes LGBT. E foi bom que se visse isso, e foi bom que o PolyPortugal pudesse contribuir um pouco à causa LGBT em Portugal.

Para quem quiser saber mais sobre este assunto:
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2007/07/poly-porto-marcha.html

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(english)

PolyPortugal, represented by antidote, co-organized and co-founded the 1st Porto Christopher Street Day March, Portugal in 2006. The orga-work took place in 2 very intensive months, with almost no budget and a very small team, and a lot of unexpected problems. But in the end it happened, and we are all still very proud of it, and have a special weak spot in our hearts for it.

If you want to read more about it (in portuguese):
http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2007/07/poly-porto-marcha.html

O que somos

2006-01-03T15:22:00.003+01:00

(em português abaixo)

The Sexual Life of the Savages is a platform for activism in its interventionist and educational aspect. We like to believe that it is possible to change the world in a nice way through simple things like challenging with questions or discussions, or just by demonstrating new possibilities, and its intrinsic beauty, in our events.

In practice, that boils down to sex-positive workshops, performance pieces, play parties, panel discussions, teach-ins, social/political groups and educational opportunities. We tend to have as target group folks who live, try to or are considering lifestyles which are not fitting the norm (queer, gender-aware..). We don't have a professional background for doing this, and we are definitely not trained academically to do it. But we usually have plenty of experience and reflection in the topics we dive into, and usually we don't bounce around saying stuff we did not research before or try ourselves. We believe that we can in our events we can all come to something new and unexpected.

The Sexual Life of the Savages is an umbrella project for a handful of people who work with each other, or/and independently, according to these principles. To know what each of us is up to, and what gets hir out of bed in the morning, you may want to read the bios available at the blog (http://lube-nomads.blogspot.com). In general, we have all in common a libertarian attitude and philosophy, a brutal honesty, and being interventionist.

We are keen to receive suggestions for new topics, and we love to receive invitations for new events, specially if there is a party,drinks and fun around the corner...

The name The Sexual Life of the Savages was taken, as homage, from a Brazilian post-punk music compilation. The name, loaded with self-irony, attempts precisely to capture the "knows it all amateur anthropologist" tone, the ever-present judgemental attitude against any life form which doesn't fit the norm of the white Christian western middle class man. Our workshops are precisely about life-forms and life-styles which quite diverge from that ideal.

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(português)

The Sexual Life of the Savages é uma plataforma que se interessa pelo activismo na sua vertente de informação e intervenção. Gostamos de acreditar que podemos mudar o mundo à nossa volta pelo simples lançar de perguntas e discussões ou simplesmente mostrando novas possibilidades, e a sua beleza intrínseca, através dos nossos eventos.

Na prática, temos dado maioritariamente workshops acerca de temas geralmente sex-positive ou relacionados. Geralmente dirigimo-nos a um publico que vive, tenta ou considera um ou vários modos de vida que não se encaixam na normalidade mais habitual. Nao somos profissionais nem as pessoas melhor treinadas academicamente para o fazer. Mas temos geralmente experiência nos assuntos sobre os quais nos debruçamos e não dizemos nada que não tenhamos tentado ou investigado. Acreditamos que podemos demonstrar novas possibilidades ou aprender convosco durante os nossos eventos.

The Sexual Life of the Savages é um guarda-chuva para várias pessoas que intervêm, umas com as outras ou individualmente, de acordo com estes princípios. Para saberem mais sobre o que faz cada umx de nós mexer, o melhor é ler o que cada um escreveu acerca de si próprio disponíveis no blogue (http://lube-nomads.blogspot.com). Mas no geral temos em comum sermos todxs libertários, brutalmente honestxs e intervencionistas.

Aceitamos sugestões para novos assuntos, e adoramos receber convites para novos eventos, principalmente se houver festa e bebidas à nossa disposição.

O nome The Sexual Life of the Savages vem originalmente duma compilação de pós-punk brasileiro, e que tenta precisamente captar o tom de antopólogo amador que condena e considera aberrantes quaisquer formas de vida que não sejam a do homem branco, cristão, europeu e classe média. As nossas oficinas são acerca de vidas que não são, ou divergem muito precisamente desse ideal.

Info: +as nuvens contra o ceu azul+

2006-01-02T19:50:00.000+01:00

(English below)

(Extraido de http://laundrylst.blogspot.com/2009/01/quem-somos.html)

nuvens contra o céu azul é mais um poliamorista há vários anos, mas gosta mais de escrever sobre liberdade e temas que são transversais e inevitáveis ao poliamor. Membro activo do poly_portugal, também se envolve em dar workshops e fazer intervenções... Vive de momento em Berlim.

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(English)

nuvens contra o céu azul (the clouds against the blue sky) is yet another polyamourist since many years, but rather writes about freedom and topics which come hand in hand, directly or indircetly, with polyamory. An active member from PolyPortugal, nuvens also gets involved in worshops and interventions. Currently based in Berlin.

Info: Éskìw

2006-01-02T17:07:00.006+01:00

(under construction)

Éskìw - who has a fetish for connecting people, places and cultures - was an lgbt/ feminist professional radical activist for years in different groups before realising it was harder to get to prison than what they show you on TV. After taking a sabbatical year, realising that a life without the perspective of ending up in prison is not worth living, is back as a freelance feminist, lgbtq, poly activist. Currently located in Barcelona.

Info: +antidote+

2006-01-02T17:07:00.005+01:00

(english below)

Antidote tem-se mexido, em Portugal e na Alemanha, a divulgar a ideia, para alguns aberrante, de que poliamor, queer, ou sex-positive são modos de vida válidos e merecedores de respeito, e tem trabalhado na visibilidade e consciencialização de malta queer e/ou poly. Este trabalho é por si considerado DIY, under-construction, irregular e amador, e inclui entre outros eventos, workhops sobre estes temas. A nível pessoal, Antidote tende a concentrar-se na importância da construção de redes de apoio para malta queer e/ou poly, o que na prática se traduz por exemplo em ser webmaster do www.diepolytanten.de.tc, em escrever em blogs poly- e/ou sex-positive (incluindo o próprio www.laundrylst.blogspot.com), ou co-fundando o encontro QueerPolyMuc (meet up poly para mulheres e trans* em Munique). Antidote vive de momento em Berlim.

Para listar toda a tralha produzida por Antidote, carregar aqui (ou em alternativa, usar a tag +antidote+ no lado direito do blogue)

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(english)

Antidote has been active in Portugal and Germany in the promotion of both polyamorous, queer and sex-positive lifestyles as respect-deserving options, and the visibility and awareness of queer-poly-folks. This work is seen as DIY, under-construction, irregular and amateur, and includes workshops and information sessions on those topics. On a personal level, Antidote tends to concentrate on the building of networking and exchange platforms for queer-poly-folks, like maintaining the www.diepolytanten.de.tc, (in German), writing in poly and sex-positive blogs (including her own www.laundrylst.blogspot.com, in Portuguese), or co-founding Munich's QueerPolyMuc stammtich (women/transgender meet up). Antidote is currently based in Berlin.

To find all the stuff ever produced by antidote, click here (or click on the label +antidote+ on the blog´s right hand side).

Info: +Lokki+

2006-01-01T17:14:00.006+01:00

(english below)

O poeta diz que "a alma nasce com a forma do corpo", logo, não é surpreendente que Lokki tenha pinta típica da galdéria ética e kinky que não se leva demasiado a sério, envolvendo-se q.b. na teoria e e metendo-se alegremente em sarilhos com a prática. Lokki acredita que um mundo mais sex- e kink-positive, ou melhor, um mundo com verdadeiro lugar para a diversidade, não só é desejável, aprés Rousseau (ou mesmo Pangloss), mas tornaria a sua vida sexual muito mais interessante. Lokki acredita que "o que é sexo" é algo muito pessoal e muito, mas mesmo muito, variado, e por isso toma a expressão "sex-positive" no seu significado mais geral. Escolhas de vida sex-positive merecem respeito e não merecem tratamento de segunda ou terceira classe, ou discriminação.

Como já devem ter deduzido, Lokki nao se define ou se ve como especialista, logo foge como o diabo da cruz de ser mentor ou professor seja do que for, antes preferindo "demonstrar novas possibilidades, com base nas minhas próprias experiências e epifânias". Lokki gosta de organizar eventos, de preferência workshops acerca de temas sex- e kink-positive. Lokki vive de momento em Berlim.

Para aceder a toda a tralha produzida por Lokki, clicar aqui (alternativamente, clicar na tag +Lokki+ no lado direito do blog).
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(English)

"The soul is born with the form of the body", says the poet, so Lokki looks like the prototype of the ethical, kinky and playful slut, involving hemself quite a bit in theory, and somehow always getting into trouble at the pratical level. Lokki shares the belief that a more sex- and kink-positive, or even better, a more diversity-positive world, will not only be desirable, from a Rousseaunian (or Panglossian) point of view, but will also make hir sex-life much more interesting. Lokki believes that what people perceive as "sex" is something very personal and can take many forms, and takes the "sex-positive" expression at its most general meaning. Sex-positive ways of life deserve respect, and should not receive second class treatment or be ill regarded.

As you may have guessed already, Lokki, doesn't perceive hemself as specialist and therefore mentoring or teaching are words not really likely to be used, but sees hirselfas a demonstrator of new possibilities, based on hes own experiences. Lokki likes to organize events, mainly workshops and talks, on sex- and kink-positive topics.

Lokki is currently based in Berlin.

To find all the shit ever produced by Lokki, click here (or click on the label +Lokki+ on the blog´s right hand side).

.